Malaysia

As I've been here a couple of weeks now I decided I'd give you a little bit of information about Malaysia. I love it, I've even got used to being woken up 5 times a day by the mosque. I don't even act like its karaoke anymore. The problem I have with the numerous religions is I can't really relate to them all. I think most people got into it because it gave them something to do on a Sunday. I mean my mums goes to church for the social occasion and the cafe Nero afterwards. I blame coronation street omnibus on the decline of religion but that's just my view. Aside from that when ever we venture out we are stopped numerous times a day and asked for pictures. Parents put their children in our arms and say 'picture picture please' I can only assume they've read my blog and think I've got potential. I have been told that it's because in some of the places we have visited white people have never been seen before.  It could also be to do with the fact that topshop sell shorts that probably resemble a Malaysian thong.

The public toilets here very kindly come with instructions also. I think the signs would more appropriately be placed in nightclubs in Blackpool. As you can imagine when I saw this sign there was only one thing I did.

This week we went to a place called batu caves. This is where monkeys live in the wild and you have to climb 300 steps to get into the caves. Personally I think the steps are a test because by the time I got to the top my lips were blue and I was having palpitations. The monkeys are clever little bastards though, I dropped one pea out of my Bombay mix and that's it bye bye bombay. Here's a picture of main culprits they decided to take it upon themselves to check in my bag afterwards incase I had any left.

Sarah and I don't particularly like insects, which is a slight problem as we are in Asia and one night we stepped into the lift and saw there was a jumping cockroach, Sarah managed to escape before it ate her alive and I tried my best but ended up trapping my wrists in the lift, so i now look like i have a 6th finger.

Speaking of 6 fingers on our flight here I was sat next to a lady who had 6 fingers, she was Thai and i don't know if its a cultural thing or maybe she's considered royalty out here. On the bright side living in Thailand the hot weather means she won't have the trouble of finding 6 fingered gloves. 

We have stumbled across a variety of strange characters so far and if I had a pound for every time I saw a woman plucking a pube from her bikini line on the beach I'd be a millionaire.

I have come across some rare food whilst I have been here, people who view a sheeps testicles as a delicacy or a chicken korma filled donut, but the most controversial of them all seems to be the chocolate crisps. I still cannot get my head around this, it's like my mind is telling me no it's all wrong you hate them but then all my mouth can think is chocolate.  I'll keep you updated with the result of that one. I have been given a lot of stick for not being very authentic with my food choice apparently it isn't cultural to have Nandos even though it is Portuguese and a Singah beer does not count as Thai food.

The only problem I have had is I got stung by a jellyfish, Sarah thought I'd just stood on a shell but I know it was a jellyfish. I've never really seen the point in them, they're 97% water, if someone would just come and add the other 3% then I could drink the bastard and I wouldn't have nearly had my foot amputated. On that note everyone keeps panicking that sea levels are rising because of me driving to college not roller skating there but I have come to realise its because there's too many fish in it. It's like when a fat kid gets in a pool a load of water goes out. Get rid off all the fish and the sea levels will go down - basic science.